November 11,2004 Mood: Inspired

Song: Dare You to Move

Baby,

Guess what I just did last night. After I just finished writing my previous entry my room phone rang again and Judy once again asked me to come down because I have another visitor. It was Francis, it took minutes for me to go down I was wearing this super big t-shirt saying Braces makes beautiful faces! From my dentist, and a very short cycling shorts. So I changed my clothes and guess what! Suddenly I didn't feel uneasy, really super comfortable. Well yea there were seconds that I wouldn't say a thing but at least it wont last a minute really I was super talkative and happy. I had fun sharing him how Jun2 called my sister Judy as Marjorie. And how his doing really fine courting Lovely, we talked about Tracie and Angelo and my relationship with my friends. About Erwin, his here already and Francis told him everything... I guess that's why he didn't greet me today. Like I didn't exist or something, he was saying Hello and Hi hundred times to Bhelle and Clare *his dancers, and F I Y me too* Anyway that's fine with me, except I won't be included in their dance group that would be really disappointing and frustrating. Maybe I'll just write a simple note, I'm having problems with my mother as of now and she's really treating me badly... She doesn't care about me anymore, really the cold treatment! So I'm kind of bugged and I can't concentrate, because I'm being bugged by my conscience. ARG! This afternoon I was like jealous again with Tracie and Kiko, they were super sweet and were fooling around. My heart aches when I see them having fun and really comfortable with each other... I hate my self for thinking so narrow and acting really sensitive. I was quiet all the time they were having fun, and really irritated and annoyed. So he was asking me what it is that I'm thinking, do I have a problem or is there something wrong. If I feel uneasy again I shouted “No I don't feel uneasy!” I hate it when I can't tell him what's wrong, I hate it when he doesn't get what is wrong! I hate it when I'm always feeling this way! But then he wrote a note asking me to tell him because I once told him that I promised to tell him everything. So I was forced to tell him but I replied with being very careful writing every word... Tracie was also quiet and I guess she noticed, I wrote her a note to even though I know I was the reason. Anyway after that note writing and Madame Angie caught me writing back one of Tracie's notes she confiscated the paper and asked why I wasn't doing the outline I said “I already did look! Plz give back the paper... plz.” Suddenly tears were forming in my eyes and they dropped so she was forced to hand me back the paper. HAHA! Anyway after that we were ok and Francis became more sweet to me, and we're fine. I hope we'll be ok tomorrow... And I am praying me and my mom will fix this prob. Hugs&Kisses*Nadz