November 29,2004 Mood: Superrr Duperrr Excited!!!

Song: Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Baby,

I'm superrr duperrr excited for tomorrow. YAY! I'm finally going to see my beloved Francis. Haha, and superrr duperrr excited to see my best friend and show her my Green Day album!!! WUHU! And my new earphones lol, and bought this sign also for my door. Super great songs by Green Day. God God God help me be comfortable with Kiko and I wish we'll last forever... We're almost 1 month, on December 1 we'll be 1 month together and guess what!? We haven't had a fight yet, not not not yet. Only problem is that I still feel uneasy around him, and he does too at times. Hope that will go away and it's so perfect... Miss miss miss Kiko a lot, I even doodled the back of my phone with his name and nick and stuff. I so miss him, so love him... How can I express him how I really feel if I'm uneasy and how can I not be? If whenever his beside me my mind goes blank and I lost words and it's as if a different “nadz” comes in me. If whenever he ask me stuff it's as if every answer sounds stupid and WALA LANG are the only words that comes out of my mouth. If whenever he holds my hand I get sweaty, if whenever his there I feel insecure to do almost everything!? It's so ridiculous, so pathetic and frustrating... Anyway yesterday attended mass, and there's this group of guys who kept on looking at me and this guy was going near me and was like wanting to ask me something. I was wearing a cute light brown fit top and a mini skirt with a brown belt. When the mass was finally done they came to me and I just walked away as fast as I could, and I walked and walked and many guys were saying Hi Miss and stares... Anyway I'm so used to that you know how I dress differently, peeps just can't resist staring, lol... As I was walking to Tracie's place I saw RJ and he was looking at me and it was blurry you know I have poor eye sight and I have to wear glasses but I just wear them on exams and copying notes anyway I didn't recognize him at first and then when I got nearer he turned back and I knew it was him. Anway spent like an hour talking to Tracie about the gig and she was talking about him and Erwin back again! Erwin once courted me and stuff anyway, after that went to Malou but she wasn't there so went to Clare's and she was there either decided to walk to Jammie's house and there we talked a little and we walked to Ruth's house and burrowed Jojet's side car and we drove to Jevvy's house and she drived us to Jun2 and Martin's house *well their just neighbors* Anyway point of going to all of those classmates houses was to ask Jun2's house I wanted him to talk to Lovely I think Lovely was planning to answer him last last night anyway Martin was staring at me and I was looking away, I think he wanted us to stop fighting and he didn't say a thing. Anyway so there, Jun2 drove the side car and we rome around a little and gave back the side car to Jojet's and Ruth went home and Jammie parted way and we accompanied Jevvy to her house and there were group of guys who said hi and so Jun2 and I walked home guys who know Jun2 were teasing him anyway, got home and Lovely and him talked for like an hour. And I showed him plenty of pictures and he wanted to get my picture with Hannah and my sister and Judy's best friend. But he was super crushing on Hannah in that picture, he was saying she's photogenic and really cute in that picture and stuff. He went home after like another hour of talking and fooling around. And I am missing Francis so much so I txt Tracie that I miss miss miss him. Hugs&Kisses*Nadz

Here comes the rain again falling from the stars. Drenched in my pain again becoming who we are. As my memory rest but never forgets what I lost... Wake me up when September ends... -Wake me up when September Ends, Green Day