January 29,2005

Mood: Fine

Song: Burn by Usher

My Boo,

Where to start?! OK let me begin with Francis and his condition. It's getting worse! Oh God help him, I visited him twice. But I never entered his room just in the window. He looks the same only paler. How I love to hug him and tell him everything will be ok and that I'm here. I wanted to give him fruits and a get well soon card. The doctor said he only have 49 platelets. I hope he survives the “Dengue” it's an illness you get from a dangerous mosquito bite. I've had that when I was in 6th grade and fortunately it was a safe stage. No serious bleeding and all.

My exams, oh God just make a miracle with my answers. I studied well but it's not good enough. Well I hope I get good grades. I miss Francis.

With Christian, well we are kind of ignoring each other for now. But how I love to be sweet with him. I don't know yesterday in our Sports Festival he's one of the basketball players and damn he looks hot! He keeps on looking at me and I keep shouting and cheering for him. I wanted to wipe his sweat whenever they have time outs. But all I did was buy him water and Tracie gave it to him. I wrote him a letter. And formed this laser heart stickers with “SORRY and I LOVE YOU. I hope he likes it, I arrived late because I made that. Cause when I woke up I got 9 miss calls and 15 messages! All from him. Saying sorry and i love you and all. We just said HI to each other twice and I waited for him when he was changing his clothes. I was the only girl left in the court. And he come up to me and asked if I was going home. I said yes but I'm still waiting for Jevvy. And when I went to him RJ was with him. SO I kind of walk fast, away from them. I guess Christian got upset because of that. I want to talk to him and hug him...

I cried twice yesterday, 1st because I got sick of all those people comparing me with my sister Judy. I felt so bad! Their all “Your sister's so brainy! Unlike you...” “Your sister's so sexy, and your so slim...” “Your sister's so active in sports and all” I'm so sick of everyone saying your sister's like this and that!!! Yes I know she's way fucking better then I am. She's fucking special that me! But why can't people see the better and special part of me...? Why can't people see that I'm doing my best to reach they expectations! Why do people need to tell me my bad and weak part that she's good at? I'm so hurt and that's the reason why I lost all hope of participating in our track and field. Speaking of track and field, Madame Donna couldn't believe what she heard when I came up to her and asked to be listed. She wanted to laugh and was all HUH?!

Enough of those, let me tell you what happened on 27th that was Thursday, I received yet another letter from Jun2. But it was a very shocking reply... Cause he confessed everything that he likes me and all and I'm like this is bad... So I wrote him a frank and sort of harsh letter... But not expecting him to... cry over it. Man did I feel so bitchy for doing that to my bestest friend... God. I was all harsh that he will regret everything because it's wrong and all. And I'm just doing it because of him and his relationship with his girlfriend! And he wrote a sort of angry reply. And went to my house that night. And we talked and talked. Well we always talk. But it was a serious talk, about our feelings. But anyway... hugs&kisses*Nadz